Winter of Discontent

A Sense of Danger:
Winter arrived menacingly over my home...a nimbus blitzkrieg overtaking sunny days and night outs...

...and so start the winter games!

A Sense of Speed:

Relegated to indoor sports, I entered LeMan's Indoor Kart Racing in Fremont. Two track configurations: summer and winter. Tight turns. Nine hundred eighty four feet lap after lap. Thirty-five-mph straightaways. Accurate timing by transponder. Stats sheet at the end.

Here is the summer circuit that I conquered...19.135 seconds at the best lap:

...and the winter circuit that I need improvement:

A Sense of Ice:

Here I go with broom hockey, introducing myself to hard, painful ice:

Morale Booster at Work

The return-on-investment for a foosball table at $1,000 would equal years of unplanned employee morale boost and mid-afternoon picker-upper.

And at work, we abuse this unsupervised "team-building" event, at least one hour a day.

R2-D2 Mailboxes!

Look here!

The USPS plans to honor the 30th Anniversary of Star Wars by sporting R2-D2 boxes to take your mail.
Future Headline: Thousands of Mail Lost to Mailbox Theft.

Future Headline 2: Mailmen Protest C3PO Uniforms; Plan Walkout.

A Sense of Flight

Substitute your sense of sight for a 'visual' grasp of US air traffic. What you get is this:

Flight Patterns by Aaron Koblin

T-Mobile MyFaves Top 5 People and One Who Hates It

T-Mobile rolled ouy MyFaves, a plan that gives you unlimited calls to your 5 favorite people you chose. Check out the commercials, including Dwayne Wade and Charles Barkley. People from other networks are allowed. Your top five will appreciate it.
I know one person who doesn't. While at the T-Mobile store in ValleyFair, Santa Clara last week, I selected a "Ken" profile out of the Five Faves shown on one RAZR in-store display. Not expecting that the store would leave the display phones active, I was surprised someone picked up and demanded who's been calling. I didn't want to stick around for trouble so I hung up.
This week, I thought: 'Poor guy. He must be getting a lot of calls from shoppers.' So I went back, called "Ken" again, and there he answered, indeed named "Kenneth," and irate as one would be. I learned he wasn't affiliated with T-Mobile, was a T-Mobile customer but switched to Cingular, gets phone calls from strangers, and was glad to learn its coming from a cell phone in the store display. Asked for a manager, but I advised him to come visit instead, look for the gray Dragon RAZR, and find out who's Fave Five he is with.
Seems like one of his friends pranked him. So much for one's favorite five.
Now...who would I call for free next time I go to the store?

Ipod as World Currency Tracker

Here's a news story from Australia:
Australian bank Commonwealth Securities has launched an iPod index, based on the cost of the 2GB iPod Nano as a benchmark to track currency values worldwide, showing if a currency is overvalued.
The idea stems from The Economist Magazine's Big Mac index. The bank has chosen the iPod since they are all made in China and its price - in theory - should be consistent. This is in contrast to McDonald's "Big Mac" burgers, made worldwide, says the bank.
As a result, the price of an iPod after taxes should be the same regardless of where it is sold. However, in practice this is not the case, as analysts quickly pointed out.

Nevertheless, the 2GB Nano retails this way, per the Index:
Brazil $327.71
India $222.27
Sweden $213.03
France $205.80
UK $195.04
Spain $192.86
Italy $192.86
Germany $192.46
China $179.84
Korea $176.17
Switzerland $175.59
Australia $172.36
Taiwan $164.88
Singapore $161.25
Mexico $154.46
US $149.00
Japan $147.63
Hong Kong $147.63
Canada $144.20

Watch for this headline later this month:
Enterprising Holiday-Makers Spark Global Exodus to Rio. Indians Stay Put, Take Over the World.

No More Ramen

On Jan.6, scouring the headlines while relaxing at a Borders Bookstore cafe, I saw Yahoo post an item: the inventor of instant noodles has died just the day before, at the age of 96. Faced with food shortages in post-WWII Japan, Momofuku Ando created an easy-to-make noodle product to help feed the masses. By 1958, the "instant" variety was born. Inevitably, Ando became a corporate celebrity in his homeland.

Minutes later, as I was in a bookstore, I stumbled upon this book, apparently just recently published. Late 2006. A sick coincidence? Of course not! An instant obit? Perhaps.

The Mindset Of This Year's College Freshmen, The Class of 2010.

Amid the flashbacks to 2006 and the short-term predictions into 2007, there is list of trend-setting factors for much farther into the future: the Mindset of this year's freshmen class, an annual disclosure defining the young and upcoming generation, courtesy of Wisconsin's Beloit College.
A student of history dwells in past tense. A stagnant, satisfied, well-entrenched lifer laughs with the Mindset list. The futurist has already locked and loaded it into memory.

And here are my notable ones from the Mindset of the Class of 2010:

• They are wireless, yet always connected.
• DNA fingerprinting has always been admissible evidence in court.
• "Google" has always been a verb.
• Text messaging is their email.
• Milli Vanilli has never had anything to say.
• Mr. Rogers, not Walter Cronkite, has always been the most trusted man in America.
• Madden has always been a game, not a Superbowl-winning coach.
• They grew up in mini-vans.
• They have no idea why we needed to ask "...can we all get along?"
• Brides have always worn white for a first, second, or third wedding.
• Affluent troubled teens in Southern California have always been the subjects of television series.
• They have always been able to watch wars and revolutions live on television.
• They never played the game of state license plates in the car.
• Ringo Starr has always been clean and sober.
• Professional athletes have always competed in the Olympics.

The complete list for 2007 and past years is here: Beloit College Mindset List.

2006 In Lists

Beware of 2006. The past year reaches out in fading glory with immaterial retrospectives like the Year-In-Review Lists. Check this site for Top Ten and Best Of Lists. Excusable for its fun factor. Cure for the new year hangover. Time-wasters. Website counter boosters. Magazine shelf-life killers.
But reading the self-affirming Darwin Awards, I feel blest having been ushered into 2007, bearing genes fit for survival and human advancement, and thus, push myself on, best not to look back but keep on counting up, past one glorious eve's countdown.

Ah-ah-ah-aah!






Happy New Year!

Cingular Wireless and Jimmy Crack Corn

A week before Christmas, I caught Cingular Wireless's TV commercial (again) with an elderly Jim talking to his soon-to-be son-in-law and preferring to be called "Jim," at which the son-in-law starts making fun of his name: "Jim, Jimbo, Jimmy-Boy, The Jimster,"...And if you remember it well, he says "Jimmy crack corn and I don't care!"

But this night, "Jimmy crack corn" was missing. Gone. Edit-ed out.

A day later, wrestling against my urge to not sit down to National Lampoon's Vacation again, like I always do when its on TV, Clark Griswold sings "Jimmy crack corn and I don't care!"

So, something was up, and its not about this 24-hour span between two related observations: "Jimmy Crack Corn..." is an old slave song in mournful lament over one's master's death, but also contained anti-slavery undertones.

It took Chevy Chase to prompt me to look it up. Eminem just recently rapped it to center stage. But apparently no one told Cingular until last week. If they leave the ad as is, then it should have been no big deal because the line has its roots from anti-slavery. If they cut the line, which they did, they risk igniting observant and inquiring minds. They could have just retired the ad.

I hope no one's offended. But I wonder if the Cingular customer service lines are busy. Talk about the least dropped calls.

BT - This Binary Universe (2006)

A tangent away from ambient, trance and electro-pop invites itself to interesting dissection of what it is, what it's made of, what it's not. This Binary Universe deserves nothing more than playtime in one's music pod; undoubtedly beautiful; ambient and trance evolved. But inevitably, upon immersing in soundscapes as quizzical as its title, it begs an explanation, as if to discern whether to relax to a pleasant suspension in mid-air or to give in to a suspension of dis-belief. In the end, a guaranteed, unforced smile. It's that good.

Here's what else is going around:

Amazon.com's Op-Ed: ...taps into BT's classical side, with expansive arrangements and intricate, albeit minimalist, thematic development. BT reveals himself as a master of Eno-esque melancholy, as simple melodies evolve through an electro-orchestral instrumental palette...an album that seeks out joy and redemption, but not without traveling through the dark.

Stephen Fortner, Keyboard Magazine: "Labels such as “ambient” or “modern classical” fit for a few seconds, then the next passage in the song blows away the last...it could well be studied as the first major electronic work of the new Millennium. "

Other quick ones: Ambient symphony; electronic lullaby; visual and audio meditation; symphonic nuance; dreamscape...

I'd add: Fitting music when the dialogue stops in CSI Las Vegas and the experts go to work. Perfect score to close the last 7 minutes of any Miami Vice episode.

More techie details (it's not just music) are laid out in ThisBinaryUniverse.com and in Wikipedia.

The escapist would be long gone and happy into Track One rather than be reading these foreign descriptions.

All I Want For Christmas

A Nokia N95

Or a Google-Sony merger.

DIY YouTube

Do things yourself. Videojug will show you.

YouTube + Japanese TV = Die Laughing

No explanation required.

YouTube + Japanese TV = Die Laughing

Just too funny not to share.

Grammar Check

Do you say, "Are you going or not?" Or do you say, "Are you going or no?"
As insensitive and removed as I am with most things, this one manages to tick me off, having learned to use "or not" while more and more people truncate to save a consonant. I've posted the question to Yahoo! Answers and got these responses:

Christian W: "It's Are you going or not"?
zen: "Not"
Jane Y: "Are you going or not?" would be correct. "
tkdlindz: "are you going or not. Have never heard it the other way. "
boobyprint: "are you going or not.the other one sounds weird. "
Siegimai: "People say "or no" just to make it shorter, proper manners are "Or Not?"
moreacidthanalkaline: "Or not" is correct. In Scotland "no'" is short for "not" so we say "or no'?"
tony: "its or not.What you learn to be correct in school isnt what is practiced. Also sayings differ depending on geography. "
tmlamora1: "not "
David W. S:"Are you going" is sufficient or not/or no is tacit in the question."
drshorty: "They are both fine"

Even Yoda seems to get it: "Do or do not. There is no try"

Isn't it that "or not" refers to "Are you going or not going?" "Or no" would incorrectly mean "Are you going or no going?"

Is it red or not = Is it red or not red.
Do you agree or not = Do you agree or do you not agree.

I will go with David W.S's response and truncate myself: Are you going? Is it red? Do you agree?
Don't get me started with "Look it" as in "Look at it."

Thank You For Smoking (2005)

Bold, memorable dialogue from Big Tobacco's star lobbyist Nick Naylor and company in "Thank You For Smoking," last year's film satire of the smoking and anti-smoking campaigns:

Nick: "My job requires a certain moral flexibility."

Nick: "If you argue correctly, you're never wrong."

Nick: "It's in our best interest to keep [cancer-striken boy] alive!"

Kid Student: "My Mommy says smoking kills. "
Nick: "Oh, is your Mommy a doctor? "
Kid Student: "No. "
Nick: "A scientific researcher of some kind? "
Kid Student: "No. "
Nick: "Well then she's hardly a credible expert, is she? "

Nick: "My point is that you have to think for yourself. If your parents told you that chocolate was dangerous would you take their word for it? "
Kid Students: "No!"
Nick: "Exactly! So perhaps instead of acting like sheep when it comes to cigarettes, you should find out for yourself. "

Nick, about his collegue: "After watching the footage of the Kent State shootings, Bobby Jay, then seventeen, signed up for the National Guard so that he, too, could shoot college students. "

Former Marlboro Man: "You look like a nice enough fella. What are you doing working for these assholes?"
Nick: "I'm good at it. Better at doing this than I ever was at doing anything else."
Former Marlboro Man: "Aw, hell, son. I was good at shooting VC. I didn't make it my career. "

Nick's son, having convinced Mom to let him go to California with Dad: "It was an argument not a negotiation. "

Nick's son: "Dad, why is the American government the best government?"
Nick: "Because of our endless appeals system. "

Nick, to eccentric business partner Jeff: "When do you sleep?"
Jeff: ".....Sunday"

Now on DVD.

My Travels - Italia Part 1 of 4 (Roma, 2006)

On Oct. 16, 2006, I finally entered Rome!

Invading by air, I approached the Roman Empire vndeterred, high above sites of repeated failvres by land and sea. Long-overdve, this infiltration comes after a decline of Might, when once I had the strength of Empires, today I command a Force of three.

No matter. I was too late! Rome had already been sacked!

At the battered Forvm and Palatine Hill, I silently envied the raiders and their efficient plunder of town. I kicked loose a few slabs of rock to the rvbble, bvt felt it pointless.

The Colossevm: half preserved, pock-marked, crvmbling: I stood where Barivs Bondvs hit his historic DCCLVII homervn! I read abovt it in news-tablets (read: not tabloids), when an annoyed Bondvs was qvoted: "Steroids? Is that another god?"

Unable to find the Empire, I centered on the other seat of power: Vatican City and 130+ Swiss Gvards. The high walls and inconspicvovs arrow slits prompted me to instead endvre an hovr-long line to the Vatican Mvsevm for easier entry, later learning that lines are shortest past noon.

Inside Vatican City

I can finally inflict some measvre of destrvction to an existing Roman power, I thovght, bvt let this be a lesson: It's hard enovgh bringing my "empire-bvilding tools" thrv airports; the one battering hammer that slipped throv got nicked in the Roman svbway enrovte. Yov see, this gypsy woman with a baby and five other children (reminds me of promiscvovs times) crowded me, rvshing to board. Strangely, they exit moments later before doors closed; only at the mvsevm I realized: pick-pockets! Some gypsy girl is gonna grow vp with the battering Ram I dearly loved (it even had a Hemi).

Empty-handed, I sovght a new plan impromptv. It didn't help that the path to Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel ceiling (a vandal's dream) was a maze deep into covntless mvsevm archives before emerging vnder the fabled ceiling; too high ovt of reach; no pics allowed. At that point, tired legs and all, I've grown svspiciovs of an army of vshers in well-trimmed vniforms I knew hid more than their power to Shvsh visitors to mvte obedience. Picking my battles, I decided not today.

The ceiling leading to the Sistine Chapel

I felt similar vigilance from colorfvl Swiss Gvards in St Peter's Basilica.

Behaved myself into the hvge nave and interior, left Michelangelo's Pieta alone, and the holy door closed as it shovld be vntil the next Jvbilee celebration, every 25 or 50 years.

Off with no pvrpose nor options for conqvest, I fovnd the Spanish Steps (Piazza di Spagna) where everyone's more into Seating than Stepping... I explained it a natvral inclination to rest after shopping in this fashionable district between the Steps and Spagna metro stop.

So, while still in vogve, I sat...and contemplated my next offensive.

Speaking of vogve, I was pleasantly distracted by photo shoots...

...then fvrther sidetracked by commitments for the night, as it was with the 2006 Festa Internazionale di Roma that I gained unquestioned entry to the city as movie rep...

...dining at the chic Via Veneto scene, drinks at the Hard Rock Cafe...

...delegated to the film, Romanzo Criminale, abovt taking control of Rome's vnderworld (an endeavor I'll some day vndertake).


For now, I resorted to assavlting symbols of power. The Borghese Gallery (reserve ahead!) contains an admittedly "great collection of Baroqve scvlptvres"---art apparently dve to Roman Catholic Chvrch meddling with art itself.

The Borghese Gallery

I fell short, again, as I had to check-in my bag that hid a "borrowed" scabbard, then perplexed into inaction trying to connect the featvred masterpieces ---- (1) Roman god-centric Apollo and Daphne, (2) a half-naked Venvs Victrix, and (3) the idolation of David ----with Catholic principles (???).

On later reflection, I shovld've thovght of shoving scvlptvres to the floor.

Obviovsly, the Empire's gone. The Vatican is no consolation---the world's smallest state with an even smaller army---what sort of conqvest wovld that be? Rome's a modern city with an efficient two-line svbway, zippy mini-cars and a global flair.

I foolishly dreamed retaliation via works of the Renaissance, 'cavse...well...its abovt the rebirth of classic Rome. I natvrally thovght of it's birthplace, Florence.